你凭什么要过上你想要的生活?- Why do you want the life you want? – English

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Recently I saw a quote “Your university aspiration was your parents choice and your university modules was based on how it easy it was to get through, so why is it you really want the life you do? “. If we could tell every young person this quote, I would spark a debate in a flash.

It was the holiday period with little going on, I received the company’s update email informing me the second round of the company’s online lessons had started and requested I complete the course before XX time. The company constantly had a lot of learning resources and I always assumed they were common skills, or just the company’s conceptual ideas, mere brainwash. However, I really didn’t have anything better to do, so I opened it up and had a look. After starting the first class, my brain suddenly started to wake up. I was thinking about some simple daily tasks with a completely holistic view. I also thought, every time I have a meeting with the boss, what on earth was the boss going on about? It gave me the impulse to immediately go to work and do a good job. There might be a day when I am older and work in a position that commands people’s respect, and not just because of my personsonal hobbies or strengths. I thought about this, and I suddenly felt inspired. At the same time I started to recall the past.

Speaking for myself, a person able to stay up until 2 am for the sake of a hobby, someone willing to keep improving everyday, a job which really isn’t bad, but still isn’t great. With personal hobbies and work there is a big difference. Here it really isn’t a problem with my individual ability, but actually a question of where my heart is.

We always think doing something we enjoy doing is best way, but what actually is something we enjoy? It is worrying how few people can give a clear answer. Take me for instance, always thinking my hobbies outside of work are my true passion, constantly looking to improve everyday. But what about work? Until now I always thought it wasn’t something I passionate about, but what is my passion? If you take the contents of a persons hobby and transform them into a regular job, would that really make you happy? In truth, it really isn’t like this and at the end of the day, what is it you really want to do? We think long and hard, but actually we just end up escaping the problem.

We always tend to think our work is especially arduous and forced, and the way we are living really isn’t the way we want to live, hence we always use the quote “chasing our dream” to keep ourselves motivated. The result is the more we think like this, the more we are evading reality. After which we start endlessly fanatasising and becoming dissatisfied. Actually, as far as common children are concerned,those real passions are largely a product of other people’s work and earned without effort. For instance, a dream could involve receiving a large amount of money to spend time travelling the world, but as soon as you mention you need to work hard first, you get a cold response, who wants to go and make money? At once you think this really isn’t the life I wanted. Our inner dreams consumed by society’s furnace, and burnt to ashes and smoke. Add on top an over the top media disseminating overseas ideological trends and the successful public figures spouting aphorisms after they are famous, it is no surprise our hearts quickly become agitated and increasingly confused and disorientated.

于是,我们动不动就辞职旅行,动不动就盯着钱换工作,动不动就找同僚商量一点赚钱快的小动作,而很少有人在自己专业的方向上埋头好好往心里学点东西,也很 少有人想着把自己变成一个在工作上很专业的人。社会浮华,物欲横流,每天上班的事儿能推就推能挡就挡,下班吃饭看电视睡觉,然后脑子里想着社会怎么难混, 工资怎么不涨……特别是刚毕业的时候,受打压受气工资低,于是我们会本能的逃避那些可能发生的困难。想到未来会有困难,心里便开始想如果不做这份工作,如 果是去旅行,如果是做自由职业者,就不需要面对了。于是,每个人在熟悉职场一两年后,都会对一夜暴富和一夜成名抱有热切关注,会开始在遇到困难的时候想着 外面的世界;而周围谁要特别努力的工作,总会嗤之以鼻的说一句:“活的不要太用力,你至于么!”

可是每当看到牛逼的前辈在前方闪闪发光的时候,每次看到前辈的PPT逻辑写的让人惊艳的时候,看到领导不管讲什么都能滔滔不绝的时候,立刻就觉得领导碉堡 了,自己弱爆了。所以当前辈们能用很长的年假去那些自己也很想去的地方晒太阳享受生活的时候,自己的内心又会生出好多的羡慕和矛盾。

其实我们都知道,不迎着困难往前走,前辈的现在无论如何也成不了我们的未来,只是内心会变得不那么勇敢,会害怕受伤害。我们下意识的逃避现实,幻想自己能 像《奋斗》里的人一样,不用担心钱,就有房子有车有男人有妞儿还有个乌托邦,于是我们闹腾、诉苦、辞职,觉得这个世界不是我们内心想要的样子。这么折腾几 次之后,我们会发现这个现实又把自己甩到了更靠后的地方去了。

每当我懈怠的时候,我就去每天涯看各种狗血贴,每次我都发誓不要让自己的未来过上那样离奇而窘迫的生活。22岁-28岁,这六年,我们会迅速走过,而也是 这六年,奠定了我们三十岁之后的生活质量。而对于女孩子来讲,如果能在结婚前奠定一个良好的事业和经济基础,无疑是对自己未来一个巨大的保障,好过把这个 重担扔给一个其实实现不了你太多幻想的婚姻。

如果我们大学里的志愿是父母选的,如果我们大学里的课程是挑好过的选的,那我们又凭什么要过上自己想要的生活呢?如果我们依然不愿在一个每天需要消耗8+ 小时的地方让自己成为一个牛逼的人的话,而逃避到外面的世界去,那我们内心的那些爱好,心底的那下梦想,生来的些许天赋,也许真的会终老一生了。

Do you want to do something that feels right? Starting tomorrow, don’t be late for work! "你凭什么要过上你想要的生活?"

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Source : Sina Blog

About julien.leyre

French-Australian writer, educator, sinophile. Any question? Contact julien@marcopoloproject.org