You are viewing an old revision of this post, from March 9, 2016 @ 04:51:30. See below for differences between this version and the current revision.
广秀老师：
I’m a PhD student with a two year old daughter. In many people’s eyes I’m a very fortunate woman. My husband treats me pretty good, his parents are also very nice to me. Although I got married far away from home, I don’t feel lonely. However, one thing that I’m unable to get out of my head is that my mother-in-law is really eager for me to give her a grandson. Before the full liberalisation of the one child policy, she would rather see her son give up a well-paid government job, so that we could give her a grandson. Now the policy has changed, and she is even more persistent, ready to move mountains just to get me and my husband to come up with the second pregnancy.
公公是个老小孩，婆婆说她这辈子都为儿子而活，尽管她还有个女儿，但在她的观念里，女儿是外人，儿子就是她的命，所以，她不遗余力地把我老公培养成材，他们母子感情非常好。老公虽然想要两个，但一个孩子他也能接受，他主要的压力来自他妈，觉得他妈那么辛苦地把他培养成人，心心念念的就是抱上孙子，他实在不忍心忤逆她。
在这件事上，如果让我自己选择，我觉得有个女儿就够了，好好培养一样成材。就算是想生二胎，也得是我觉得有必要并且情愿生才行。如今，是婆婆逼着我要生，并且非要生个儿子，这让我心里非常不舒服，感觉我自己的肚子都不能自己做主，沦为给婆家传宗接代的工具了。
从结婚开始，我为此事和婆婆争论了很多次，无论哪种方式她都很坚定，没有丝毫妥协的念头。有时真想离婚算了，我也养得起女儿，就让老公再去找个愿意给他生儿子的女人好了。但想到女儿需要爸爸，而且我们夫妻感情一直很好，仅仅因为这件事就结束婚姻很不理智。
今天凌晨一件事点燃了我的愤怒。因为女儿睡觉不踏实,惊醒时需要人起来抱着她拍哄着入睡，昨晚我已经被折腾得起来过三次，由于产后一直腰疼，当她第四次哭闹时,我实在没力气再抱起26斤重的女儿，就把她放在床上，她啼哭了一会儿,眼看着就快睡着了，婆婆却拿来牛奶，孩子因为受惊，愤怒地大哭不止，既不要老公,也不要婆婆,就要我抱。
我又累又气, 觉得委屈极了。心说你们都喊着让我生孩子，但现在一个孩子都搞不定，再来一个孩子,我是不是就得左手一个右手一个?因为我不是那种把孩子丢给长辈不管的人,真生的话,我得边攻读博士学位,边搞科研边照顾俩孩子，我又不是铁打的，能扛得住吗？
我知道劝婆婆放弃她的执着没用，但是劝我妥协我也很委屈。我知道孩子生下来是自己的，最终受益者也有我，不生这个孩子我的婚姻生活很难安宁。但我不想那么累，更不想是在被强迫的状态下生。这事是我们家所有矛盾的根源，除此之外，我跟婆婆相处还不错，真不知道该如何解决这个问题，请帮帮我。
Source : 新浪博客
image source:http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_499ed1890102wv51.html
Article Revisions:
- April 22, 2017 @ 14:54:40 [Current Revision] by Oleg
- April 22, 2017 @ 14:47:28 by Oleg
- April 22, 2017 @ 14:47:26 by Oleg
- April 22, 2017 @ 14:43:01 by Oleg
- March 29, 2016 @ 05:26:30 by Oleg
- March 19, 2016 @ 05:10:36 by Oleg
- March 19, 2016 @ 02:12:16 by Oleg
- March 11, 2016 @ 05:35:42 by Oleg
- March 11, 2016 @ 04:52:41 by Oleg
- March 10, 2016 @ 03:37:22 by Oleg
- March 10, 2016 @ 02:26:38 by Oleg
- March 9, 2016 @ 04:51:30 by Oleg
- February 28, 2016 @ 21:21:28 by Oleg
- February 28, 2016 @ 21:21:28 by Michael Broughton
Changes:
| March 9, 2016 @ 04:51:30 | Current Revision | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Content | |||
| <p>To Teacher Guang Xiu,</p> | |||
| <p> | |||
| I know there’s no point in trying to persuade my mother-in-law to give up her obsession, however I also feel it’s unfair to get me to compromise. I know that I'll be giving birth to my own child and it's ultimately for my own good, and not having this child will make it hard to a have a peaceful married life. However I don't want to be so stressed and moreover do not want to give birth out of compulsion. This whole<br> | |||
| I know there’s no point in trying to persuade my mother-in-law to give up her obsession, however I also feel it’s unfair to get me to compromise. I know that I'll be giving birth to my own child and it's ultimately for my own good, and not having this child will make it hard to a have a peaceful married life. However I don't want to be so stressed and moreover do not want to give birth out of compulsion. This whole</p> | |||
| < | <p> | ||
| <p>I'm a PhD student with a two year old daughter. In many people's eyes I'm a very fortunate woman. My husband treats me pretty good, his parents are also very nice to me. Although I got married far away from home, I don't feel lonely. However, one thing that I'm unable to get out of my head is that my mother-in-law is really eager for me to give her a grandson. Before the full liberalisation of the one child policy, she would rather see her son give up a well-paid government job, so that we could give her a grandson. Now the policy has changed, and she is even more persistent, ready to move mountains just to get me and my husband to come up with the second pregnancy.</p> | |||
| <p>公公是个老小孩，婆婆说她这辈子都为儿子而活，尽管她还有个女儿，但在她的观念里，女儿是外人，儿子就是她的命，所以，她不遗余力地把我老公培养成材，他们母子感情非常好。老公虽然想要两个，但一个孩子他也能接受，他主要的压力来自他妈，觉得他妈那么辛苦地把他培养成人，心心念念的就是抱上孙子，他实在不忍心忤逆她。</p> | |||
| <p>在这件事上，如果让我自己选择，我觉得有个女儿就够了，好好培养一样成材。就算是想生二胎，也得是我觉得有必要并且情愿生才行。如今，是婆婆逼着我要生，并且非要生个儿子，这让我心里非常不舒服，感觉我自己的肚子都不能自己做主，沦为给婆家传宗接代的工具了。</p> | |||
| <p>从结婚开始，我为此事和婆婆争论了很多次，无论哪种方式她都很坚定，没有丝毫妥协的念头。有时真想离婚算了，我也养得起女儿，就让老公再去找个愿意给他生儿子的女人好了。但想到女儿需要爸爸，而且我们夫妻感情一直很好，仅仅因为这件事就结束婚姻很不理智。</p> | |||
| <p>今天凌晨一件事点燃了我的愤怒。因为女儿睡觉不踏实,惊醒时需要人起来抱着她拍哄着入睡，昨晚我已经被折腾得起来过三次，由于产后一直腰疼，当她第四次哭闹时,我实在没力气再抱起26斤重的女儿，就把她放在床上，她啼哭了一会儿,眼看着就快睡着了，婆婆却拿来牛奶，孩子因为受惊，愤怒地大哭不止，既不要老公,也不要婆婆,就要我抱。</p> | |||
| <p>我又累又气, 觉得委屈极了。心说你们都喊着让我生孩子，但现在一个孩子都搞不定，再来一个孩子,我是不是就得左手一个右手一个?因为我不是那种把孩子丢给长辈不管的人,真生的话,我得边攻读博士学位,边搞科研边照顾俩孩子，我又不是铁打的，能扛得住吗？</p> | |||
| <p>我知道劝婆婆放弃她的执着没用，但是劝我妥协我也很委屈。我知道孩子生下来是自己的，最终受益者也有我，不生这个孩子我的婚姻生活很难安宁。但我不想那么累，更不想是在被强迫的状态下生。这事是我们家所有矛盾的根源，除此之外，我跟婆婆相处还不错，真不知道该如何解决这个问题，请帮帮我。</p> | |||
| matter is the cause of conflict in our family, and apart from this I get along with my mother-in-law quite OK. I really don't know how to resolve this issue. Please help. </p> | |||
Note: Spaces may be added to comparison text to allow better line wrapping.
Find out Guangxiu’s answer on how Juzi should deal with her mother-in-law at the end of Juzi’s account: http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_499ed1890102wv51.html
For an interesting reflection on how the propaganda of the one child policy blinded people from its violent enforcement read Huang Woyun: http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_499ed1890102wv51.html
For a short but brave message from a mother visited by the ‘baby police’， http://1le2xiao.blog.sohu.com/176454504.html