A lonely distance – 孤独的距离 – English

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也许短暂的分别可以“距离产生美”,但长期的分隔注定会让这份“幻想美”消失殆尽。不得不承认的一个现实是物理的距离无可置疑地带来了心理的距离。这一点对于朋友,甚至亲人都是如此,毫无例外。

转眼间,在国外漂泊已近三年,从一开始来到这块陌生的土地,到渐渐结实朋友,结伴同行,再到毕业之后,大家纷纷回国,各奔东西,慢慢地便鲜有联系。无论科技如何发达,微信怎样便捷,地理距离上的鸿沟终究很难跨越。偶尔鼓起勇气联系一下当年的同窗好友,寒暄几句之后便也无话可言。

听到伦敦发生恐怖袭击,一下想起了英国的同学,微信上真诚地问候一句,对方客气地回答,“谢谢挂念”;国内的朋友麻烦件小事,竟然千恩万谢,突然觉得彼此之间是那样遥远。不禁想起罗大佑的歌词,“朋友之间越来越有礼貌,只因为大家见面越来越少”。一句句礼貌的客套,让人再也感受不到曾经的亲近。我自嘲地开导,有个回应终究比冷漠地视而不见要好。毕竟还有那许多真诚的关心经过微信飘洋过海,最终杳无音信;更有不少真挚的祝福微信也难以传递,因为对方已经删除好友。

起初以为只是异国他乡,终究隔着千山万水。可渐渐才发现,即便在同一个城市,也完全可以做到老死不相往来,除非有事相求。这一点不仅国外如此,国内亦然。只不过国外好友更少,夜生活更为单调,又鲜有好事者组织聚会,因而更显寂寥。其实也不难理解,远水不解近火,有些事说了也无用,索性不说。于是时间一久,便更加不知从何说起。

毕竟随着年龄增加,大家都变得日益繁忙。有工作的压力,有家庭的职责,有时真地不是不想交流,而是时间不允许。一个亲戚跟我讲,他到读大学的城市出差,想着联系一下留在那边的大学室友。结果听到电话那端憔悴的声音,出来一聚的念头就此打消。第二天,室友打来电话说读初三的孩子深夜不归,他也几乎一夜未睡。

家庭的存在起到了稳定社会的作用,但可能也在相当程度上阻碍了朋友的交流。毕竟大门一关,各家过各自的日子。即便没有孩子,无须照料老人,你的出行也总要考虑另一半的感受。于是好友相聚最终成为一个需要紧密策划的活动。踽踽独行的单身狗只能对着紧闭的大门无奈地转身离去,心中期待有一天也能有处容身之所。等那一天真正到来时,才发现原来门内的人们其实也羡慕当初门外的自己。“围城”内外都只余下无尽的落寞。

古人云,“不如意事常八九,能与言者无二三。”但当在这大千世界,连二三知己都为时空阻隔而不可得时,这段距离又承载着多少孤独呢!



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July 23, 2017 @ 15:56:05Current Revision
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也许短暂的分别可以“距离产生美”,但长期的分隔注定会让这份“幻想美”消失殆尽。不得不承认的一个现实是物理的距离无可置疑地带来了心理的距离。这一点对于朋友,甚至亲人都是如此,毫无例外。  
转眼间,在国外漂泊已近三年,从一开始来到这块陌生的土地,到渐渐结实朋友,结伴同行,再到毕业之后,大家纷纷回国,各奔东西,慢慢地便鲜有联系。无论科技如何发达,微信怎样便捷,地理距离上的鸿沟终究很难跨越。偶尔鼓起勇气联系一下当年的同窗好友,寒暄几句之后便也无话可言。  
听到伦敦发生恐怖袭击,一下想起了英国的同学,微信上真诚地问候一句,对方客气地回答,“谢谢挂念”;国内的朋友麻烦件小事,竟然千恩万谢,突然觉得彼此之间是那样遥远。不禁想起罗大佑的歌词,“朋友之间越来越有礼貌,只因为大家见面越来越少”。一句句礼貌的客套,让人再也感受不到曾经的亲近。我自嘲地开导,有个回应终究比冷漠地视而不见要好。毕竟还有那许多真诚的关心经过微信飘洋过海,最终杳无音信;更有不少真挚的祝福微信也难以传递,因为对方已经删除好友。 Maybe a short-term separation could lead to a sense of “beauty created by distance”, but a long-term one is destined to let the beauty evaporate. We have to admit the fact that physical distance would undoubtedly bring about a sense of emotional distance. This is true for friends, and even so for families, with no exception.
起初以为只是异国他乡,终究隔着千山万水。可渐渐才发现,即便在同一个城市,也完全可以做到老死不相往来,除非有事相求。这一点不仅国外如此,国内亦然。只不过国外好友更少,夜生活更为单调,又鲜有好事者组织聚会,因而更显寂寥。其实也不难理解,远水不解近火,有些事说了也无用,索性不说。于是时间一久,便更加不知从何说起。  
  In the blink of an eye, I have been away from homeland for almost three years. From the first step on this alien land, to building relationships gradually, sharing experiences together, after graduation, when they mostly returned to their own home country, following their own paths, we barely had any contact, as time passed. Despite the advances in technology, the conveniences of WeChat, after all, it is difficult to span the geographical gap. When I occasionally muster up courage to contact used-to-be classmates and close friends, conversations came to an end shortly, after some brief exchange of greetings.
  When I heard about the terrorist attacks in London, I immediately thought of my classmates in English. I sent them a concerned message on WeChat, and they replied politely: 'Thanks for thinking of me.' With my friends in China, for the smallest favour, we'll send a million thank you's, and that makes you feel very far from each other. The words of a gong by Luo Dayou come to mind: 'We're only more polite with friends because we see them less.' Every new courteous word makes you feel the loss of closeness. I put on my optimistic hat and comfort myself that getting an answer is always better than getting coldly ignored. After all, there is a lot of concerned messages that cross a thousand miles and never receive an answer. And there is a lot of sincere good wishes that never get delivered, because the other person has already unfriended you.
  At first, I thought it was just because we were in different countries, and there was too much distance between us. But I gradually realised that even in the same city, it's completely possible to never see each other until you die, or unless you need a favour. It's not just like that overseas, it's also like that in China. But there's fewer good friends overseas, the nightlife is more boring, and there's not many people who bother to organise something: that's why it's more lonely. In fact, it's not hard to understand, 远水不解近火,and there are things that it's pointless to say, so you don't say them. And so as time passes, you no longer know where to start.
毕竟随着年龄增加,大家都变得日益繁忙。有工作的压力,有家庭的职责,有时真地不是不想交流,而是时间不允许。一个亲戚跟我讲,他到读大学的城市出差,想着联系一下留在那边的大学室友。结果听到电话那端憔悴的声音,出来一聚的念头就此打消。第二天,室友打来电话说读初三的孩子深夜不归,他也几乎一夜未睡。 毕竟随着年龄增加,大家都变得日益繁忙。有工作的压力,有家庭的职责,有时真地不是不想交流,而是时间不允许。一个亲戚跟我讲,他到读大学的城市出差,想着联系一下留在那边的大学室友。结果听到电话那端憔悴的声音,出来一聚的念头就此打消。第二天,室友打来电话说读初三的孩子深夜不归,他也几乎一夜未睡。
家庭的存在起到了稳定社会的作用,但可能也在相当程度上阻碍了朋友的交流。毕竟大门一关,各家过各自的日子。即便没有孩子,无须照料老人,你的出行也总要考虑另一半的感受。于是好友相聚最终成为一个需要紧密策划的活动。踽踽独行的单身狗只能对着紧闭的大门无奈地转身离去,心中期待有一天也能有处容身之所。等那一天真正到来时,才发现原来门内的人们其实也羡慕当初门外的自己。“围城”内外都只余下无尽的落寞。 家庭的存在起到了稳定社会的作用,但可能也在相当程度上阻碍了朋友的交流。毕竟大门一关,各家过各自的日子。即便没有孩子,无须照料老人,你的出行也总要考虑另一半的感受。于是好友相聚最终成为一个需要紧密策划的活动。踽踽独行的单身狗只能对着紧闭的大门无奈地转身离去,心中期待有一天也能有处容身之所。等那一天真正到来时,才发现原来门内的人们其实也羡慕当初门外的自己。“围城”内外都只余下无尽的落寞。
古人云,“不如意事常八九,能与言者无二三。”但当在这大千世界,连二三知己都为时空阻隔而不可得时,这段距离又承载着多少孤独呢! 古人云,“不如意事常八九,能与言者无二三。”但当在这大千世界,连二三知己都为时空阻隔而不可得时,这段距离又承载着多少孤独呢!

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